愛笑的人，運氣總不會太差，因為笑可以讓人充滿正能量，更能讓自己面對挫折，勇往直前，這裡本站小編CJ本站小編CJ收集整理了英語小笑話精選5則，讓你爆笑每一天。
1.又要結婚了
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“這麼說，你又要請一天假，”老師怒氣衝衝地對他的學生湯姆說，“我倒想知道你這次找什麼藉口。你已經請了四次假說去參加你爺爺的葬禮。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
湯姆回答說:“今天是我奶奶再次舉行婚禮。”
her: What is the plural of man,Tom?老師: 湯姆，“男人”這個詞的複數形式是什麼?Tom: Men.湯姆:男人們。Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老師: 答得好。那“孩子”的複數形式呢?Tom : Twins.
湯姆: 雙胞胎。
le Pete came home from the playground with a bloody1 nose, black eye, and torn clothing.小彼得從操場回到家時，鼻子流血、黑眼圈及被撕破了衣服。It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. His father asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Pete, "I challenged Larry to a duel2. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons."
顯然他剛與人惡鬥了一番，而且打輸了。父親問兒子發生了什麼事。“噢，爸爸，彼得說，我向拉里挑起決鬥，而且我讓他挑選武器。”"Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair."
“嗯，”父親說，“這看上去很公平!”"I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
“我知道，但我沒想到他選擇了他姐姐!”
New Teacher(新老師)
George comes from school on the first of September.
9月1日， 喬治放學回到家裡。
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said three and three were six and then she said two and four were six too.....
媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可後來又說2加4也得6。
absent-minded husband
心不在焉的.丈夫
I was accompanying my husband on a business trip. He carried his portable computer with him, and the guard at the airport gate asked him to open the case. It was locked, and the man waited patiently as my embarrassed spouse struggled to remember the combination. At last he succeeded.
我陪丈夫一起出差，他帶著他的筆記本電腦。到了機場出口處時， 有位檢查員要他開啟包。但是包鎖上了，機場工作人員耐心地等著我那窘迫的丈夫設法回想起暗鎖的密碼。最後他終於想起來了。
“Why are you so nervous?"I asked him.
”你為什麼那麼緊張呢?“我問他。
"The numbers are the date of our husband confessed.
“密碼是我們的結婚紀念日。”他承認道”