導語：笑話來源於生活，卻又可以讓我們的生多些歡樂、開心，現在，本站小編為大家整理了歡樂無限的英語笑話，一起來開心爆笑下。
1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very little girl stated that a whale swallowed tated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個小女孩和她的老師正在談論有關鯨魚的事情。她的`老師說：“一頭鯨魚從身體構造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為儘管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物，可它的嗓子非常小。”那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說：“從身體構造角度來講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個人的。”那個小女孩說：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”她的老師問：“那麼，假如約拿下了地獄怎麼辦?”那個小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”
2 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個月後，當地殯儀館的一個客戶終於攢夠了錢去買那副他早就相中的價值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來，將屍體轉移到了那副新的鋼製棺材中。“這副棺材有什麼特別?”，我問葬禮的承辦人。他回答說，“這種棺材終生保修。
3 Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒中獎。”
4 A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
一份報紙組織了一場競賽，為下面的問題徵集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫，你將救出哪一幅?”
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
獲獎的答案是：“最接近門口的那一幅。”
5 One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, happened? Did your father help you?"
一天，蒂姆的數學老師看了他的作業，發現他全做對了。老師很高興，同時也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說："蒂姆，你這次的作業全都做對了，怎麼回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim."
不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
6 Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
老師：湯姆，您為什麼每天上學遲到?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個路標上面寫著："學校----慢行。"