:You rding to te statistics on the paper 80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcoho.
Husband:It's okey. To my investigation, all Thespeopleeat meals.
妻子：你看這張報紙，據統計，死於肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的'。
丈夫：那有什麼?據我調查，死予肝癌的人100%都吃飯的。
2."Excuse me,but the seat you've taken is mine."
"Yours?Can you prove it?"
"Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it."
"請原諒，你佔了我的位置."
"你的位置?你能徵明這點嗎?"
"能，我在位置上放了杯冰激凌."
3."I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."
"That"s terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"
"No, but I am always thirsty!"
一個男人對他的朋友說：“我動了一次手術，手術後醫生把一塊海綿忘在我的身體裡了。”
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友說道：“你覺得疼嗎?”
“不疼，可是我總感到口渴。”
4.A guard was about to signal his train to start when he saw an attractive girl standing on the platform by an open door, talking to another pretty girl inside the carriage.
"Come on, miss!" he shouted. "Shut the door, please!"
"Oh, I just want to kiss my sister goodbye," she called back.
"You just shut that door, please," called the guard, "and I'll see to the rest."
一位車上的列車員剛發出訊號讓火車啟動，這時他看見一位很漂亮的姑娘站在站臺上一節開啟的車廂門旁邊，跟車廂裡另一位漂亮姑娘在說話。
“快點，小姐!”他喊道：“請把門關上。”
“噢，我還沒有和妹妹吻別呢。”她回答道。
“請把門關上好了，”列車員說：“其餘的事由我負責。”