笑話英語小故事一：
A wealthy old lady who lived near t used to send him presents occasionally by her t took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his day as Swift was busy with his writing， the boy rushed into his room， knocked some books out of their place， threw his parcelon the desk and said，“ my mistress has sent you two of herrab bits.” Swift turned round and said，“My boy， that is not the way to deliver your ， you sit in my chair，watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.” The boy sat down. Swift went out， knocked on his door and waited. The boy said“Come in.” The doctor entered，walked to his desk and said，“If you please sir， my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.” The boy answered，“Thank you， my boy， Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.” The Doctor laughed， and after that， Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.
笑話英語小故事二：
n was busy writing letters in his room when his servant，a very stupid boy， rushed hastily into his master's room and shouted loudly in an excited voice，“Fire，Fire!The kitchen is on fire!” n got up quickly， and he and the boy ran as fastas they could to the kitchen. “Look there，” shouted the boy， pointing to the leaping flames. He had carelessly left some dry wood near the fire and this was alight and blazing hard. n saw a big pot of boiling water on the top of the stove.“You silly fellow，”he said.“Why didn't you throw that on the burning wood?That would have put it out quickly.” “Oh， no，” said the boy slowly，“That water would beuseless;it's hot water.”
笑話英語小故事三：
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often，but he never took his son，Tom，because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday， pson took him to his usual bar for the first drank for half an hour， and then pson said to his son，“Now， Tom，I want to teach you a useful must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well， I'll tell you see those two lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have become four，you've had enough and should go home.” “But， Dad，” said Tom，“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”