闖紅燈
Two guys were riding down the street in a car. They come to a red light. The driver runs the red light. The passenger cries out "Hey, why did you do that?" The driver says, "Don't worry about it, my brother does it all the time."
They came to another red light, and the same thing happens. The passenger is visibly upset and threatens to get out of the car the next chance he gets. At the next light, which is green, the driver slams on his brakes and comes to a screeching halt.
The passenger is confused and asks, "What the heck is wrong with you? You ran two red lights but you stop at the green one."
The driver responds: "My brother might be coming from the other way!"
兩個男人開車前行，路遇一紅燈，司機呼嘯而過。乘客大叫：“嘿!你幹嗎這樣做?”司機說：“別擔心，我兄弟經常這麼幹。”
又遇一紅燈，司機依舊呼嘯而過。乘客顯然憤怒了，威脅說如果下次再闖紅燈他就下車。路遇一綠燈，司機猛踩剎車，車子嘎然而止。
乘客迷惑了，問道：“你有病吧?剛才闖了兩個紅燈，現在綠燈了你倒停了。”
司機回答：“我兄弟可能會從那邊過來。
帶它去動物園
A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?”
He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in."
The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!"
So the policeman took the monkey out.
Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door, put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo."
The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie."
有一位警察大哥帶了只猴子給他上司看，他上司就說他：“你搞什麼猴子把戲?”
警察大哥說：“這猴子在大街上到處亂跑，什麼法律都不懂，我把它捉了回來，治它的'罪。”
上司說：“天啊，你怎麼那麼笨?捉到猴子就把它帶到動物園去嘛，帶給我幹嘛?帶它到動物園去。”
後來那警察大哥就帶了猴子出去了。
三、四天後還看見他跟猴子手拉手開啟警察車門讓猴子坐進去，正準備開車，他上司跑了出來說他：“天啊，為什麼到現在還把猴子留在這兒，我不是叫你把它帶到動物園去的嗎?為什麼還在這兒?”
警察大哥：“我有呀!我已經帶它去了動物園，今天帶它去看電影!”
他贏了
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎?
約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒?
約翰尼：我們做遊戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。