1 臨死之時
Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.
臨死之前，Stanislaw被他摯愛的家人包圍著。知道自己的最後時刻就要來了，他拿出所有力氣，輕聲耳語，“我必須告訴你們一個最大的祕密。”他的家人催他趕緊說。
"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"
Stanislaw說，“在我結婚之前，我什麼都有：靚車，美女，還有大把大把的錢。但是一個好朋友警告我說，‘你應該結婚，建立一個家庭，否則當你奄奄一息躺在床上時，都沒個人會為你端茶倒水。’於是我聽取了他的建議，離開了姑娘們，娶了一個妻子。我不再把錢花在啤酒上，而是留下來給孩子們買吃的。我賣掉了我的法拉利，投資了大學基金。所以現在才有了你們。可你們知道嗎?”
"What?"
“知道什麼?”
"I'm not even thirsty!"
“我現在一點都不渴啊!”
2 冰箱裡的.儲蓄罐
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
我表妹總是從她哥哥的小豬撲滿裡“借錢”，她哥哥對此事感到很憤怒。
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
一天，表妹四處尋找，最後竟然在冰箱裡發現了撲滿。
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
撲滿裡有張紙條：“親愛的妹妹，我希望你能夠理解，我的資產現在已被凍結。”
3 我為什麼逃避手術
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation.
一位男士在進行手術前被發現正沿著醫院的大廳逃離。
"What's the matter?" he was asked.
“發生了什麼?”有人問他。
He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'"
男士回答道：“我聽見護士說，‘這只是一個簡單的手術。不用擔心，我相信不會出問題的。’”
"She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?"
“她這樣做是想讓你感到安心啊，有什麼好害怕的?”
"She was talking to the damn doctor!"
“可她是在對那該死的手術醫生說!”
4 The Effectiveness of Advertisement
廣告的效力
Some businessmen were talking about advertising on TV excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view.
一群商人正熱烈地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個人都有自己的想法。
At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. Grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement.
此時，格雷先生進來了。格雷是一個汽車經銷商，他曾經做過一次廣告。
"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked.
“你們在討論什麼?”格雷先生問。
"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked.
“廣告有用不?”其中一位商人問。
"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."
“噢，有用，而且見效非常快。”格雷先生說，“我曾經發布了一條廣告，要招聘一個值班員，報酬是100美金。”
"Did you get the dog back?"
“你招聘到人了嗎?”
"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."
“沒，但是那個晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。”
5 A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.
某人去朋友家拜訪，發現朋友竟然在跟自家的狗下象棋，大為錯愕。
He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
他旁觀了一會兒，當時就震驚了。
"I can hardly believe my eyes!" he exclaimed. "That's the smartest dog I've ever seen."
“我簡直不敢相信!”他大叫，“我從沒見過那麼聰明的狗!”
"Nah, he's not so smart," the friend replied. "I've beaten him three games out of five."
“哪裡聰明瞭，”朋友回答，“五局中我贏了三局呢!”
6 To be on the Safe Side
保證沒走錯
In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.
在一家電影院裡，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。
A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:
幾分鐘後，他回到那排位子並問坐在首位的那位男士道：
"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"
“對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎?”
"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."
“是的，不過沒什麼關係，一點也不疼。”
"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."
“噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。”