一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，並且會深深吸引他人。下面，小編給大家收集整理了最幽默的英語笑話，增加幽默細胞，聰明的你一定會成為閃光點。
最幽默的英語笑話篇一：Who is he waiting for 他在等誰
Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife." 兩個朋友在紐約市汽車中心總站的一家咖啡廳裡吃午飯。 他們注意到一個男人獨自坐在鄰桌。當服務員小姐走向他時，無意中聽到她問那個男人：“你是在等一位個子很高，很瘦，留長髮，面板很白的金髮女人嗎?” 那人回答說：“在我生活的長遠規劃中，我是在等。但是今天，我卻是在等我的妻子。”
最幽默的英語笑話篇二：
Grandpa: It’s time for dinner Bao Bao. Wash up!
Grandson (Bao Bao, 12 years old): Aw Grandpa, I don’t want rice again. Can you take me to KFC tonight? Please?
Grandpa: I suppose so, but you’ll have to show me where it is. We’ll take the bus.
At the counter of KFC…
Grandpa: Why are children so crazy about chicken wings and hamburgers? What’s so good about them?
Grandson: Hmm…hmm. Hey, I’ll take 2 chicken wings and a Coke, OK?
At the table…
Grandpa: Bao Bao, do you like being Chinese or do you sometimes wish you could live in America or Europe?
Grandson: Uh, maybe America, I think the foods there are cool. Why?
Grandpa: Well, when I was your age, I liked to go out with my parents and eat in a Chinese restaurant. We didn’t have chicken wings or the drink with bubbles. We drank tea and we had rice and traditional Chinese dishes.
Grandson: Grandpa, I want some French fries. Can I have some?
Grandpa: Phew…all right! Children are children after all. Bao Bao, do you know what children ate in the past? They ate spring rolls when spring was coming, glutinous rice balls during the Lantern Festival and if they behaved well, their parents would probably buy them small steamed bread made with corn flour…I can still remember the taste, that sweet…
Grandson: I want more chicken wings, can I, Grandpa?
Grandpa: You’ve already eaten too much of that, Bao Bao! A lot of your friends are getting fat too…you know, in the good old days, we…
Grandson: Grandpa, pass the ketchup,‘kay?
爺爺和孫子之間的爆笑對話
親歷快餐
爺爺：寶寶，該吃晚飯了，去洗洗手吧。
孫子(寶寶，12歲)：噢，爺爺，我不想吃米飯!您能帶我去吃肯德基嗎?求您啦!
爺爺：好吧，只是你得告訴我它在哪兒。我們坐公交車去吧。
在肯德基的櫃檯前……
爺爺：為什麼孩子們如此熱衷於雞翅和漢堡呢?有什麼好吃的`!
孫子：嗯……我要兩個雞翅和一杯可樂，可以嗎?
在餐桌旁……
爺爺：寶寶，你是喜歡當個中國人，還是有時候會想當個美國人或是歐洲人?
孫子：嗯，也許想當個美國人吧，那裡的食物都很酷。為什麼要問這個?
爺爺：喔，在我像你這麼大時，我喜歡跟我的父母一起去中國餐館吃飯。我們那時沒有雞翅，也沒有這種會冒泡的飲料。我們喝茶，吃米飯和傳統的中國菜。
孫子：爺爺，我想吃薯條，行不行啊?
爺爺：喲，好吧!畢竟是孩子!寶寶，你知道過去的孩子吃什麼嗎?春天來了，他們會吃春捲;元宵節時，他們會吃元宵。如果表現得好，父母還會給他們買玉米麵做的小窩頭……我至今還記得那滋味兒，甜甜的……
孫子：我想再要點雞翅，可以嗎，爺爺?
爺爺：寶寶，你已經吃了不少啦。你的很多朋友都變胖了。你知道嗎?在過去那些好日子裡，我們……
孫子：爺爺，把番茄醬遞給我一下!
最幽默的英語笑話篇三：Put your feet in 把腳放進去
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
一個女學生坐在座位上，嘴裡起勁地嚼著口香糖，腳卻伸到課桌間的走道里，被老師發現了。“瑪麗!”老師嚴厲地叫她。“什麼事，老師?”這女學生問。“把口香糖從嘴裡拿出來，把腳放進去。”
最幽默的英語笑話篇四：Lucky Mother
A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well. Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, "When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam. Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, "Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?"
幸運的母親
一位年輕的母親認為，世界上還有許多受飢餓的人，浪費食物真不應該。有天晚上，在安排幼小的女兒睡覺之前，她給女兒喂夜宵。她先給她一片新鮮的黑麵包和黃油，但孩子說她不喜歡這樣吃。她還要一些果醬塗在麵包上。 母親看了女兒幾秒鐘，隨即說道，“露茜，當我象你一樣小的時候，總是吃麵包加黃油，或者麵包加果醬，從來沒有面包既加黃油又加果醬。” 露茜看了母親一會兒，眼中露出憐憫的神情，然後她柔聲說：“您現在能跟我們生活在一起難道不感到高興嗎?”