長的英語笑話帶翻譯一：
"doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“醫生”她衝進屋後大聲說道。
“我想讓你坦率地說我到底得了什麼病。”
他從頭到腳打量打量她，然後大聲說：“太太，我有三件事要對你說。第一，您的體重需要減少大約50磅;第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口紅，您的美貌將會改變。第三，我是一位畫家——醫生住在樓下。”
長的英語笑話帶翻譯二：
A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat: "Not bad, I am next to the pig."But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."
一位先生去赴宴遲到了，匆忙入座後，發現自己的座位正對著乳豬，於是大為高興的說：“還不錯，我坐在乳豬的旁邊。”這時才發現身旁的'一位胖女士正怒目相視，他忙陪笑改口到：“對不起，我說的是那隻烤好的。”
長的英語笑話帶翻譯三：
Wife: Do you have a good memory for faces?Husband: Yes——why?Wife: I just broke your shaving mirror.
妻子：你對面孔是不是很善於記憶呢?丈夫：是的——為什麼這麼問?妻子：剛才我把你的刮臉鏡子打破了。