英文笑話短帶翻譯一：
There was once a snail who was sick and tired of his reputation for being so slow. He decided to get some fast wheels to make up the difference. After shopping around a while, he decided that the Datson 240-Z was the car to get. So the snail goes to the nearest Datsun dealer and says he wants to buy the 240-Z, but he wants it repainted "240-S" dealer asks, "Why 'S'?"The snail replies, "'S' stands for snail. I want everybody who sees me roaring past to know who's driving."Well, the dealer doesn't want to lose the unique opportunity to sell a car to a snail, so he agrees to have the car repainted for a small snail gets his new car and spent the rest of his days roaring happily down the highway at top speed. And whenever anyone would see him zooming by, they'd say "Wow! Look at that S-car go!"
曾經有隻蝸牛，它對自己動作慢的名聲感到了厭惡和疲倦。他決心去弄些跑得飛快的輪子來改變這種境況。逛了一圈之後，它決定買Datson 240-Z。他去了最近的Datsun經銷店，去買Datson 240-Z，但是它想把這輛車重新刷漆，改稱240-S。 經銷商問：“為什麼是S呢?” 蝸牛回答說：“‘s’代表蝸牛。我想讓每一個看見我呼嘯而過的人知道是誰在開車。” 經銷商不想失去把汽車賣給蝸牛這樣一個機會，所以他同意收取些許費用，把車重新塗漆。 蝸牛開著它的新車，把自己的餘生都用在了快樂地高速行使在告訴公路上。而不論何時任何人看見它飛馳而過的時候，都會說：“哦!看那S-car 。”
英文笑話短帶翻譯二：
Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied. "Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人死後仍有生命嗎?”老闆問他的.一個員工。
“是的，先生。”這個新員工回答說。
“哦，那麼，這樣說來一切就很正常了，”老闆繼續說，“在你今早離開，去參加你奶奶的葬禮，她來看你了。”
英文笑話短帶翻譯三：
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."
我和一個朋友在快餐店排隊訂餐，那裡很醒目地寫著，不接受超過20美元的大鈔(請自備零錢)。
我們前邊的一個女士指著這個牌子對我們說：“上帝保佑，如果我身上有超過20美元的話，我一定不會在這兒吃飯!”