mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot." "Why use my elbow and foot?" "Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
吝嗇鬼請客 一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終於決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎麼找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，找中間那個門，然後用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了之後，再用你的腳把門推開。” “為什麼要用我的肘和腳呢?” “你的.雙手得拿禮物啊。天哪，你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答。
2. I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem? Patient: I think I'm a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服? 病人：我認為我是一隻雞。 精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的? 病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始。
3. Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?
Tom: I don't know, father. Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work? Tom: Our teacher, father.
父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過，現在我想問你個問題。你們班上誰最懶? 湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。 父親：啊，不對，你知道!想想看，當別的孩子們都在做作業、寫字時，誰在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課? 湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。
英語小笑話：狗不識字
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，
親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了!
史密斯夫人：可是你該在報紙上登廣告啊!
布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認識字。