總是有些時候莫名其妙的不開心，心情不佳的時候就會辦什麼都不在狀態，你會這樣麼?這裡小編收集整理了英語笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯，讓你的心情速速好起來。
英語笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯一：
Where Have You Been?
你去哪兒了?
Once upon a time, there was a man who always forgot things.
古時候，有個人總是忘事。
One day, he went out with his little son.
一天，他帶著小兒子出門。
He was so happy that he put the son ride his neck.
一高興，便讓兒子騎在自己的脖子上。
After a time,he suddenly thought of his son, he asked people:
過了一會兒，他忽然想起兒子來，逢人便問:
"Have you seen my child?"
“你看到我的孩子了嗎?”
One of his villagers laughed and said: "Don't you know he is on your neck?"
有個同村的村民見了大笑，說:“你難道不知道他在你脖子上嗎?”
Hearing this, the man took down his son from his neck,
一聽這話，這人一把將兒子一從脖子上揪下來，
he was so angry that he hit the son, and then shouted:
氣憤至極，狠狠地打了孩子，嚷道:
"I have told you not to go here and there.
“我叫你別亂跑，
Where did you go just now?"
剛才你到哪裡去了?”
英語笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯二：My Wife Will Exchange Them
A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather?″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.
″What color?″ asked the clerk.
″Any?″ he responded.
″Size?″
″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
反正我太太明天會來換的
一位先生走進一家商店要買副手套。
“您是要布的還是皮的?”售貨員問。
“沒什麼區別。”這位顧客回答。
“那您要什麼顏色的呢?”售貨員又問。
“什麼顏色都成。”他回答。
“號碼呢?”
“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會來換的。”
英語笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯三：老闆和祕書
It was her first job as a secretary. Her short hand wasn’t bad, and her typing was quite good. But the boss noticed that she never answered the telephone. It rang and rang, and she never touched it.
“why don’t you answer it?” he called at last.
She came to the door of his office. “because it’s always for you,” she daid.
她的第一個工作是做祕書。她速記不錯，打字也相當好。可老闆注意到她從不接電話。電話鈴一遍一遍地響，她從來不接。“你為什麼不接電話?”終於老闆叫了起來。她走到老闆辦公室門口說：“因為電話總是找你的。”
Boss: There are too many spelling mistakes in this letter that you have typed. There’s no excuse for that. You must use a dictionary when you are in doubt.
Secretary: But the trouble is that I am never in doubt.
老闆：你剛剛列印的這封信拼音錯誤太多，沒理由這樣。你沒把握的時候一定要查查詞典。
祕書：可是，問題是我沒有沒把握的時候。
英語笑話大全爆笑帶翻譯四：傳教士買鸚鵡A preacher is buying a parrot
A preacher is buying a parrot.
一個傳教士在買鸚鵡。
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
“你確信它不會尖叫，大叫或詛咒別人嗎?”傳教士問。
"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
“噢，絕對不會。它是一隻虔誠的鸚鵡。”店主向他保證。
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
“你看見它腿上的那些細繩了嗎?當你拉動右邊這根，它會背誦天主經;當你拉動左邊那根，它會背誦讚美詩。”
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
“太棒了!”傳教士說，“但是如果我同時拉動兩根繩子，會發生什麼呢?”
"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
“我會從樹幹上掉下去，你這個笨蛋!”鸚鵡尖聲說道。
英語搞笑笑話：誰才是有色人種
Dear white, something you got to know
親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。
When I was born, I was black.
當我出生時，我是黑色的
When I grow up, I am black.
我長大了，我是黑色的.
When I’m under the sun, I’m black.
我在陽光下，我是黑色的
When I’m cold, I’m black.
我寒冷時，我是黑色的
When I’m afraid, I’m black.
我害怕時，我是黑色的
When I’m sick, I’m black.
我生病了，我是黑色的
When I die, I’m still black.
當我死了，我仍是黑色的。
you—white people,
你——白種人
When you were born, you were pink.
當你出生時，你是粉紅色的
When you grow up, you become white.
你長大了，變成白色的
You’re red under the sun.
你在陽光下，你是紅色的
You’re blue when you’re cold.
你寒冷時，你是青色的
You are yellow when you’re afraid.
你害怕時，你是黃色的
You’re green when you’re sick.
你生病時，你是綠色的
You’re gray when you die.
當你死時，你是灰色的
And you, call me color?
然後，你叫我“有色種人”?