冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網路為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳於網頁，微博，貼吧等。下面是小編帶來超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!
超爆笑的英語笑話篇一
儘管讀
When we work evenings often order take-out food at the night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的辦公室，大家常常訂些外賣食品來吃。一天夜裡，我們都找沙倫訂了食品。她把訂單列在一張不乾膠的紙條上。等她到了飯店時，怎麼也找不到那張訂單了。沙倫走到櫃檯前，還沒等她說話，收銀員就背出了所有大家訂的東西。沙倫問:“你怎麼會知道這些的呢?”
"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在這兒，”收銀頁說:“貼在了你的胸前。”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇二
拍賣!
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.
我們決定賣掉我們的房子。於是，我們就在院前的大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著:“拍賣。”沒過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問:“你們的樹想賣多少錢?”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇三
解決難題
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream e I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.
我和一位朋友來到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一個我最喜歡吃的巧克力奶油聖代。當女招待送來我的冰淇淋時，我發現我的冰淇沐是香草的。我說:“我要的是巧克力的。”
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. I'll take it back and get chocolate."
那位年輕的女士查了一下訂單回答說:“你確實要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再給你拿一個巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I don't like to see anything wasted."
“沒關係，”我說:“我不想浪費東西。”
"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "
“這兒什麼也浪費不了，”女招待堅持說:“我們吃掉自己的錯誤。”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇四
餘音
About to be shipped out on a long tour of duty over-seas，I had called my wife from a coin-operated telephone at an Army camp on the West Coast. As I walked away，the phone rang，and I answered it，expecting to be told of extra charges. "I thought you'd like to know,"the operator said,"that just after you hung up，the woman said,'I love you. "
即將因工作遠征出海，我就在西海岸軍營地用一個投幣電話給我的妻子撥了個電話。我剛要離開，電話鈴響了。我估計是讓我交超時費，所以只好去接。接話員說:“我想你可能想知道，你剛結束通話電話，那個女的就說‘我愛你’。”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇五
尷尬
My parents' tour leader asked everyone to put their large suitcases outside their hotel rooms at bed time so the bus could be loaded for an early departure the next morning. Mom laid out their travelling clothes，repacked their things，took out her hearing aid and went to bed. Dad stepped into the hall to line up their luggage and the door clicked shut behind him，leaving him there in only his underwear.
我父母的導遊負責人讓大家在晚上睡覺前把箱子放在飯店的房門外。這樣，化們可以在次日的凌晨早裝車，早出發。媽媽鋪開了旅行時穿的.衣服，重新打了包。取下了助聽器睡覺去了。爸爸要去大廳放行李，門咔嚓一下在他身後撞上了。他只穿著內褲，束手無策。
"It sure was embarrassing，“he told us later.”Your mother couldn't hear me，so I had to go downstairs and across the street to the office to get another key.”
他事後告訴我們:“我的確很尷尬。你媽媽她又聽不見，沒辦法，我只好下樓穿過街到辦公室去要另一把鑰匙。”
"But, Grandpa.”our son piped up.”What about the clothes in the suitcase you put in the hall?"
“但是，爺爺，”我們的兒子說:“那麼你為什麼不穿放在大廳的箱子裡的衣服呢?”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇六
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏製) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the n’t seen one back since!
三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館裡吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什麼都不能把它們趕走。”
另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙燻消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
第三個牧師說：“我為我那裡的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一隻也沒有再回來過。”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇七
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。只要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，並激動地說：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是隻要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。
一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。
超爆笑的英語笑話篇八
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?
國小四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這麼一個例子：有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水裡。於是他開始掙扎並喊救命。
他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他並不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什麼? 一個女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
超爆笑的英語笑話篇九
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的爸爸是更強壯的一個。維爾說：“你知道太平洋嗎?那個坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比爾不屑地說：“那沒什麼。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
超爆笑的英語笑話篇十
Returning from a golf outing(遠足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I don't play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答覆) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：那麼，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?