三人同舟
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspaper; the others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines and reeled in their catch.
A passing policeman stopped to watch the spectacle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
"Oh yes," he said. "They are my friends.”
"In that case," warned the officer, "you'd better get them out of here!"
"Yes, sir." the man replied, and he began rowing furiously.
三位男子在公園的長椅土坐著。中間的一個在讀報紙，另外兩個在假裝釣魚。他們給想象的魚鉤上魚餌，放線，並卷線把魚抓上來。
一位過路警察駐足觀察了這個景象，他問中間的那個男子是否認識其他兩位。
“喔，認識，”他說，“他們是我的朋友。”
“那樣的話，”警察告誡說，“你最好把他們從這裡弄走。”
“好的，警官。”那男子回答說，接著就開始瘋狂地做起划槳的動作來。
Now We Run 現在我們跑吧
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"
一個牧師正沿著街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優雅地穿過馬路，走到小傢伙的背後，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎麼辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”
Knights & Nights 黑暗時代
Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?
Betty: Because they had so many knights.
老師：為什麼有時我們稱中世紀為黑暗時代呢?
貝蒂：因為那時有許多騎士。
唯物主義的律師
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW. "Officer, look what they've done to my BMW", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer.
"You're so worried about your stupid BMW that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!"
有一位律師開啟他的BMW座車車門，當時剛好有一輛車子突然駛來撞上車門，而且把它完全給扯了下來。
當警察到達現場的時候，這名律師正在對他的昂貴BMW座車所受到的損害，痛苦地抱怨不已。他滿腹牢騷的向警察嘀咕說：“警官，你瞧瞧他們對我的 BMW所幹的好事啦!”
這名警官卻回嘴說，“你們這些律師實在太唯物主義了，你真讓我覺得噁心!”
“你竟然這麼擔心你一的笨BMW車子，卻沒注意到你的左手臂被扯斷了”
這名律師最後注意到流著血的左肩膀，也就是他的手臂原先所在之處，他回答說：“哦，我的'天哪!我的勞動士手錶在哪裡呀?”
最希望得到的簽名
Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."
我們大學的校報開辦了一個每週一問的專欄。上週的問題是：“你最想要什麼人的簽名?為什麼?”和預計的一樣，大部分的回答都是歌星、體育明星或者政治家。但是，最優秀的答案來自一個一年級新生，他說：“在我畢業證上簽字的那個人。”